Guilt & Shame
Struggling with guilt and shame is prevalent among men and women who grew up in a dysfunctional environment and must be dealt with in recovery to heal and grow.
Do You Struggle With Guilt and Shame?
Guilt can either be healthy or toxic; it is feeling bad about your mistakes and wrongdoings. Shame, on the other hand, is toxic. It’s the feeling of unworthiness.
Healthy guilt is when you’re regretful of actions that you knew was wrong. In recovery, you would resolve such guilt by making amends. On the other hand, toxic guilt is when you condemn yourself for things you were not responsible for, did not understand, or things that are beyond your control.
This type of guilt leads us down the path of regret, shame, self-sabotage, and finally, depression. It prevents us from moving forward and keeps us chained to the past, making it difficult for us to become aware of the reality of events.
Shame is when you feel bad about your worth as a person, believing that you are broken, unlovable, and unworthy. Shame is the worst type of emotion anyone can feel; it stays with you and becomes a permanent feeling of unworthiness that can influence your moods, relationships, and career.
Shame and toxic guilt go hand in hand and are usually the result of growing up in abuse, neglect, and bullying.
“I’ve created a sanctuary where you can vent these feelings without being judged.”
Abused and neglected children do not have the maturity to see things as they are, that they are Ok, but their parents are not.
Instead, they blame themselves for their parent’s defects; they believe they must be doing something wrong for their parents to abuse them.
Also, when children are treated like they are not worthy of love and they are not enough, they often come to believe they are different, which then becomes a pervasive sense of shame. Therefore, they are filled with toxic guilt and shame, and most times, they grow up with this feeling, which then affects every aspect of their lives.
The feeling of guilt limits and conditions us; it generates emotions that keep us inactive and blocked; makes it difficult to move towards our goals and aspirations; and it damages our social, work, emotional and family relationships.
If you are struggling with guilt and shame, you need to learn to overcome these feelings and regain control of your life. Be more realistic about what you can and can’t control, and what is and isn’t your responsibility to heal and become whole.
The degree of flexibility and tolerance towards the mistakes we make or could make, our capacity for acceptance, our degree of empathy are factors that adjust our interpretations and evaluations and free us from guilt. Overcoming Guilt and shame will make you feel empowered and unlock potentials you never knew existed.
Do you struggle with guilt and shame and want to get things off your chest? As a skilled listener and personal therapist, I’ve created a sanctuary where you can vent these feelings without being judged, and I’ll help guide you through the healing process of overcoming them.